ShoeSense

Shoes for the SuperWoman

You might have noticed that blogging has been somewhat light chez Scarpediem of late. That's not because I have forsaken shoes--God forbid!--but because, perhaps, the only inspiration I've had of late has been dirty, heavy Timberland or other types of equally unattractive construction boots, adorning the feet of sweaty, tan, and gruff construction guys at Scarpediem and hubby's new place. Predicted date of occupancy: some time in July. Not sure when, since we're entirely dependent on a team made of beefy, football- and Timberland-loving men on the contractor's side, and a thin, flamboyantly gay designer with a high-pitched voice, really tight jeans and Prada sport shoes on the other side.

[As an aside, remember that gay character, Anthony, who helps Charlotte with her first wedding and remains a good buddy throughout the movie? Remember when they keep bringing her wedding gowns she doesn't like and she defers to him to verbally abuse the shop attendants and get her what he wants, style-wise? That's kinda how I feel sometimes about our designer when dealing with our gruff contractor. But I digress.]

Anyhoo, to get away from the maddening construction project, we went to see MI: III this weekend, which was exactly what you'd expect of it (met my very low standards for mindless, action flicks, that is). The only bad part about it, in my opinion, was Tom Cruise, whom I've grown to loathe for reasons totally unrelated to his dedication to his craft.

On the way out, however, we saw this poster for an upcoming movie:

Those of you who know me will immediately sense the beef I have with this poster, which is not about either Uma or Luke (adore them both)--but about the boots she's sporting as SuperGirlfriend (I believe the plot is that she's some sort of superhero, and he doesn't know, and dumps her, and all sorts of hilarious trouble ensues).

I just wonder, why is it that female action figures have to wear 4 inch stilettos to save the world? Why?

I first wondered about this back when I was seeing the X-Files, in which agent Scully was invariably chasing aliens in 3-inch heels.

You'll see this trend cropping up steadily in movies or series centered around an action heroine. My favourite spy show, Alias, has poor Sydney Bristow run her heart out in perilous heels ever so often. Since I like Alias so much, I'll make a concession: I understand many of those perilous missions involve her transformation into a sex kitten that will temporarily dazzle and confuse the unsuspecting villain, until they realize it's a trap and she kicks their ass anyway, using the stilettos as a weapon.

Twisty will of course, explain to you that all the comic heroines and villainesses are clad for the sole purpose of catering to some disgusting male fantasy involving tons of leather, spandex, bustieres, buckles and studs, and, of course, debilitatingly high heels.

I wonder, are these women superheroes precisely because they can run at amazing speeds and do kung-fu DESPITE their crippling footwear? It is a distinct possibility.

However, let's be fair. Even SuperWomen need to wear adequate shoes on their missions to save the world, don't they?

That footwear, however, should look more like Uma Thurman's character in Kill Bill. It seems so much more practical to kill hundreds of hapless Japanese warriors in sensible yet super-cool sport shoes than, say, in the ridiculously high stiletto boots she wears in the poster that triggered my little tirade.

And yet, Beatrix Kiddo had the distinct advantage of going about her revenge business without really having to seduce anyone along the way.

If you saw a single episode of Alias, however, you should know that this is hardly the case in the rarefied world of ultra-espionage. Sooner or later, you're going to have to shake those goods, baby, and while you need to do it in style, you also need to keep in mind that you'll have to run for your life, karate-chop your way through approximately 150 300-pound bad guys, defuse a bomb, and make your escape while climbing up a ladder to a helicopter.

So I guess, for the purpose of seducing a bad guy at a high-class charity ball, for the purposes of stealing the secret password that would get one a step closer to solving the Rambaldi mystery, one could wear these gorgeous Casadei velvet pumps, which, at 2 1/2 inch high, will not be supremely comfortable, but will give one a bit of leeway, not to mention dazzle the villain; plus at 85% off, won't break the CIA budget.
Alternately, these metallic Sigerson Morrison might be a low-heeled, sexy alternative:
Here's also something sexy-funky with a strap that will keep the shoe securely on those butt-kicking feet: an Etro spectator-inspired pump, 1 1/2 inch heel:
Let me also throw in the mix my absolute favorite pumps of late, these gorgeous Christian Lacroix:
As for me, were I ever put in the position to make a run for my life in couture, I'd oscillate between these gold Clergerie pumps:
and perhaps, these bejeweled Zanotti beauties (can you tell I'm feeling the gold lately? give me a break, I'm still in super-heroine mode):
Now that is certainly a nice break from contemplating grimy, lumpy Timberlands for the next few weeks!

posted by Diotima @ 6:33 PM