Saturday, May 13, 2006

Shoes for the SuperWoman

You might have noticed that blogging has been somewhat light chez Scarpediem of late. That's not because I have forsaken shoes--God forbid!--but because, perhaps, the only inspiration I've had of late has been dirty, heavy Timberland or other types of equally unattractive construction boots, adorning the feet of sweaty, tan, and gruff construction guys at Scarpediem and hubby's new place. Predicted date of occupancy: some time in July. Not sure when, since we're entirely dependent on a team made of beefy, football- and Timberland-loving men on the contractor's side, and a thin, flamboyantly gay designer with a high-pitched voice, really tight jeans and Prada sport shoes on the other side.

[As an aside, remember that gay character, Anthony, who helps Charlotte with her first wedding and remains a good buddy throughout the movie? Remember when they keep bringing her wedding gowns she doesn't like and she defers to him to verbally abuse the shop attendants and get her what he wants, style-wise? That's kinda how I feel sometimes about our designer when dealing with our gruff contractor. But I digress.]

Anyhoo, to get away from the maddening construction project, we went to see MI: III this weekend, which was exactly what you'd expect of it (met my very low standards for mindless, action flicks, that is). The only bad part about it, in my opinion, was Tom Cruise, whom I've grown to loathe for reasons totally unrelated to his dedication to his craft.

On the way out, however, we saw this poster for an upcoming movie:

Those of you who know me will immediately sense the beef I have with this poster, which is not about either Uma or Luke (adore them both)--but about the boots she's sporting as SuperGirlfriend (I believe the plot is that she's some sort of superhero, and he doesn't know, and dumps her, and all sorts of hilarious trouble ensues).

I just wonder, why is it that female action figures have to wear 4 inch stilettos to save the world? Why?

I first wondered about this back when I was seeing the X-Files, in which agent Scully was invariably chasing aliens in 3-inch heels.

You'll see this trend cropping up steadily in movies or series centered around an action heroine. My favourite spy show, Alias, has poor Sydney Bristow run her heart out in perilous heels ever so often. Since I like Alias so much, I'll make a concession: I understand many of those perilous missions involve her transformation into a sex kitten that will temporarily dazzle and confuse the unsuspecting villain, until they realize it's a trap and she kicks their ass anyway, using the stilettos as a weapon.

Twisty will of course, explain to you that all the comic heroines and villainesses are clad for the sole purpose of catering to some disgusting male fantasy involving tons of leather, spandex, bustieres, buckles and studs, and, of course, debilitatingly high heels.

I wonder, are these women superheroes precisely because they can run at amazing speeds and do kung-fu DESPITE their crippling footwear? It is a distinct possibility.

However, let's be fair. Even SuperWomen need to wear adequate shoes on their missions to save the world, don't they?

That footwear, however, should look more like Uma Thurman's character in Kill Bill. It seems so much more practical to kill hundreds of hapless Japanese warriors in sensible yet super-cool sport shoes than, say, in the ridiculously high stiletto boots she wears in the poster that triggered my little tirade.

And yet, Beatrix Kiddo had the distinct advantage of going about her revenge business without really having to seduce anyone along the way.

If you saw a single episode of Alias, however, you should know that this is hardly the case in the rarefied world of ultra-espionage. Sooner or later, you're going to have to shake those goods, baby, and while you need to do it in style, you also need to keep in mind that you'll have to run for your life, karate-chop your way through approximately 150 300-pound bad guys, defuse a bomb, and make your escape while climbing up a ladder to a helicopter.

So I guess, for the purpose of seducing a bad guy at a high-class charity ball, for the purposes of stealing the secret password that would get one a step closer to solving the Rambaldi mystery, one could wear these gorgeous Casadei velvet pumps, which, at 2 1/2 inch high, will not be supremely comfortable, but will give one a bit of leeway, not to mention dazzle the villain; plus at 85% off, won't break the CIA budget.
Alternately, these metallic Sigerson Morrison might be a low-heeled, sexy alternative:
Here's also something sexy-funky with a strap that will keep the shoe securely on those butt-kicking feet: an Etro spectator-inspired pump, 1 1/2 inch heel:
Let me also throw in the mix my absolute favorite pumps of late, these gorgeous Christian Lacroix:
As for me, were I ever put in the position to make a run for my life in couture, I'd oscillate between these gold Clergerie pumps:
and perhaps, these bejeweled Zanotti beauties (can you tell I'm feeling the gold lately? give me a break, I'm still in super-heroine mode):
Now that is certainly a nice break from contemplating grimy, lumpy Timberlands for the next few weeks!

14 Comments:

At 10:45 AM, Anonymous La BellaDonna said...

Please, pretty please, where can I get the red metallic pumps? There is no linky-thingie to tell me. How did you know I was thinking about red metallic pumps with a little low heel only last night? The Etro pumps aren't available in my size *sob*, the flat gold boots are waaaay out of my league financially *sob* *sob* *sob*, but I so would get those fierce little red shoes, if you would tell me where.

I always reckoned that the first superpower a woman acquires is the ability to wear those heels without her feet hurting - never mind being able to navigate in them. There's a reason those women can fly, you know: those boots are only for flying, not walking. Or running. Or fighting. I am queen of the low and the flat-heeled boot: pointy-toed ones in lime, round-toed ones in red canvas and caramel leather, and even ... Timberland boots. Yes, I succumbed. My sweetheart wears workboots, and I bought a pair of the buff-coloured knee-high lace-up Timberlands because I knew they would make him smile.

And they did.

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger Scarpediem said...

:)
Sorry for forgetting that link--The red metallic pumps are Sigerson Morrison and they cost almost $300--not too bad at all.

I didn't realize those boots were only for flying! I guess, being superwomen, they can change their heels in a heartbeat when they land :)

 
At 3:30 PM, Anonymous ushie said...

Oh My God, What Spectacular shoes! You are SO BOOKMARKED!

 
At 10:46 PM, Blogger Joanne said...

I agree that the idea that the ability to run in heels whilst solving crimes and such make the woman in question a superwoman.

I've also been wondering about the whole Agent-Scully-running-in-3-inch-heels thing, and I found out later that it's because Gillian Anderson is 5'2" and David Duchovny is 6" so she had to wear heels all the time to make up for the height difference. I think that was pretty much the only reason, because Scully was meant to dress in a dowdy way. As for the others, like Jennifer Garner and Lynda Carter, I think it was to heighten their sex appeal. Personally, I wear heels for the height (I'm also 5'2") but in the long run I started to feel pretty fierce in them too.

 
At 1:28 PM, Blogger Fashion said...

hey fantastic post...simply superb.....pisc are really great...Last week i bought four pair of Timberland shoesfor my wife.....she asked me another one pair....

 
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That's D3 Itemskinda how I feel sometimes about our designerGW2 Gold when dealing with our gruff contractor.

 
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