Sunday, April 30, 2006

Carnivale of the Couture--the Cruelty Edition

When I saw the topic suggested by Sense of Soot for this week's carnivale, I almost choked. Why, it's about torturous fashion! And what does one think when saying "fashion" and "pain" in the same sentence? Shoes, of course!

As a matter of fact, this whole blog is against torturous fashion, as manifested in painful footwear. I've blogged about it here, here, and here. And here. All over the place, really, including the motto of this blog ("Faut-il souffrir...?"). And I've documented some of my painful mistakes in matters of shoes on various occasions--here and here, for example. In fact, I blogged about getting rid of shoes that, however elegant or coordinated or emotionally meaningful, were simply not be worn ever again, on account of their impracticality and/or pain factor. I'm a practical person, you see. And I do walk a lot--and want to do it in shoes that are as fashionable as they are comfortable.

However, Sense of Soot calls for a reveal of our dark, masochistic side--the fashion choices that have tortured us but that we can't let go of.

You shouldn't be surprised that even Scarpediem, the champion of sensible (and stylish!) footwear has a dark side, should you?

Exhibit A:



I believe I've briefly mentioned these Dries van Noten pair before. Gorgeous dark grey distressed leather. 3 3/4" Mary Janes. Rich, deep blue flower embroidery on the spectator-style vamp. Gold leather cutout insole. Heel that curves gracefully to make even a size 10 foot appear dainty. Bank account substantially depleted after purchase.

Last known wear: walking from the 22nd South block to the 16th Walnut block (Alma de Cuba restaurant, a friend's birthday celebration). Walk must have been, um, .5-.6 mi or so.

At the point of arrival, I scoped hungrily for a seat, which I speedily occupied without any intent of leaving it until the end of the evening. Dancing? Forget it! Going to the bathroom? Postponed until the very agonizing last minute, and then accomplished with great pains and much hobbling. Walking home at the end of the night? Sheer torture. Worth it? Sort of--I looked smashing! Or was it smashingly uncomfortable?

Either way, these shoes will not be soon forgotten--nor will they be forgiven!--not these shoes... Although I successfully got rid of every pair of heels over 3" in my closet, these are staying. And that's that. Thankfully, I won't be tortured in them more than once a year (or less), and deep into my old age, I'll sell them as vintage Dries van Noten in mint condition for a hefty sum, which I'll leave to my grandchildren. Or so I'd like to fantasize.

Shoes may be the logical choice when scoping for torturous fashion, but they're not the only items that will test your endurance. In my opinion, the second place on the scale of pain/discomfort an article of clothing can cause is occupied by an ill-fitting bra.

Such as this delicate pink/peach La Perla, resplendent in all its lacy glory, which I purchased online (it was the right size! and discount!), and which leaves the lingerie drawer only for, um, very special occasions.

It cuts into the sides. It kind of itches. It rubs underneath that which it supports. It can only be worn with certain outfits. It may look pretty on the outside, but fels kinda itchy on the inside. But! Don't think for a second I'm going to get rid of it! I'm not! One day I'll find the right outfit+time of wear combo for this bra to cause minimum discomfort. Until then, just the thought that I own it gives me pleasure.

After all, don't all the pieces in our closets, after a certain point, become museum exhibits? I'll just have to start adopting this mentality a little bit early than I thought when it comes to certain painful (yet irresistible!) fashion items.

That's all.

8 Comments:

At 4:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well seriously, how long does that bra actually stay on :)

Tbackgirl

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger Gidget Bananas said...

I tend to wear my very high shoes and my fancy undies to the same event -- i.e. when I can be fairly confident I won't be wearing either for long.

 
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