Thursday, August 03, 2006

Boil me up, flatten me down, and bejewel me

It's been hot, so hot the asphalt melted into one big black soup concocted by Satan's chefs, who undoubtedly got too close to the surface and are now just preparing to garnish their infernal meal with our steaming brains, freshly poached and served on the skull. Yes, it's been morbidly, fetidly, satanically hot, to the point that the 100 degrees predicted for tomorrow will feel like a breezy relief--so you'll have to excuse my rather eschatologic imagination: I've died approximately 27 times in the past 2 days, most of the times boiled or fried alive on the griddles that serve as sidewalks in Philadelphia these days.

So I've been thinking: How does one escape the feeling that one strolls through the Inferno itself? Well, here's one way to do it: wear cool heels, that's how! By that I mean no heels whatsoever--even kitten heels would sink hopelessly into the sticky goop on the streets. No! Flats or low wedges at most, with minimal coverage, preferrably thongs.

And if you're going to burn hot, you might as well do it in sparkly, fiery, bejeweled thongs, that command attention and authoritatively show you as the fierce fashionista who cannot be deterred, come hail or hell, from looking fantabulous.

For example, you will look positively scorching in these Sigerson Morrison orange flats. Tres apropos, n'est ce pas?

Sigerson Morrison also makes sure you're deflecting all the sun and attracting all the attention in this splendid gold creation:

I also wouldn't mind stepping out in this L'Autre Chose toe-ring flat:

You can't go wrong with a little gypsy inspiration. I think those are layers of pearls, rhinestones, and corals, on gold leather. Sweet!

Kate Spade goes a little psychedelic-disco-ball on us, but in her usual tasteful fashion, with this adorable thong I could wear any time, anywhere!
Master Zanotti never disappoints, and it was hard to choose from the multitude of pulchritude he's trying to embelish our feet with (bad pun due to excessive heat. The Apocalypse is coming, I tell you!). However, these yellow-and-blue thongs are particularly spectacular--if only I had the money!

And finally, I can think of few things that would be more flattering and pretty on your feet than these amber starfish Casadei thongs:
Must be all the sun that's gone to my head...must stay in the shade for now... must stop craving shiny pretty things...must immerse body in a bathtub of cold water to stop brain damage...give me gold...more gold...more liquid asphalt....aaaahhhhhhh.....


At 1:05 PM, Blogger Lizy said...

Hey..Gorgeous! Dont have words to express..the stones embedded..realy a gr8 work done..Love to have my own like this
Gorgeous pair asap.

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