Wednesday, May 24, 2006

A short break off the topic of shoes to discuss the gorgeousness that is Monica Bellucci

I love, LOVE the bitchy ladies at Go fug yourself--always a great, most entertaining read, my favorite Internet spot for a little fashion Schadenfreude. It's not hard to agree with the conclusions, either. However, I must immediately take issue with the opinions expressed in one of their latest editorial about Monica Bellucci. Now, it's not that the dress she was wearing wasn't worthy of damnation. It wasn't completely and horrifically fugtastic, in my opinion, but it certainly deserved some pointed criticism.

I must nevertheless utterly and vehemently disagree with the following opinion--and I'll do it here, since they've disabled comments on their site:
I've never quite gotten Monica Bellucci. I can recognize that she is a lovely woman, but she's not a traffic-stopping exotic stunner to me even though I've heard her referenced as such. Unlike with, say, Catherine Zeta-Jones, whose effortless glamour always captivates me, my gaze always drifts past Monica Bellucci without registering. It never stops on her -- she never grabs me and makes me stare because of the charisma or rare beauty she possesses. In fact, all I can ever summon up about her is that she is a brunette, and she is married to Vincent Cassel, who was funny in Elizabeth and extremely flexible in Ocean's Twelve.
Monica Bellucci is NOT a traffic-stopping exotic stunner??????????? What? And George Clooney is your garden variety run-of-the-mill character actor, I suppose, much plainer looking, say, than the ever-frowning Michael Keaton?

Exhibit A:
Um, say that again?

I would KILL to look like that, and so would you (don't deny it!).

I think this is due to the regrettable fact that Americans (sorry to make generalizations like that, but sometimes they're warranted) don't bother to watch or seek out ANYTHING that is not carefully mass-marketed to appeal to a comfortable majority of the US market. (Hence, Heather at GFY could reference only the Cassel movies that were marketed with some fanfare in the US.)

Monica Bellucci--excuse me, time for another photo: simply, one of the most extraordinarily beautiful women I've ever had the pleasure to ogle (as a straight woman, that's saying something!). And she has a real body with real curves, not the anorexic, fake, childish sillhouette that's so in favor in Hollywood these days. She did start off as a model, but quickly moved to a movie career (first major role: one of the brides of Dracula in Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula). She's fluent in Italian and French, and most of her major roles were in French movies that were not marketed in the US; if you saw them, you'd know she's a damn good actress, too.
I've seen and subsequentely recommend Malena (Italian), The Brotherhood of the Wolves (French; Vincent Cassel, her husband, is in that one, too); Irréversible (French, also with Cassel, and quite brutal); Agents Secrets (also with Cassel); Astérix & Obélix: Mission Cléopâtre (French, silly, but she's gorgeous). She had her less successful roles in English (The Matrix Reloaded, Tears of the Sun, The Brothers Grimm), and I guess more successful (as Mary Magdalene in Passion of the Christ). There are many other roles, and you don't have to believe me (yet) that she's a good actress, but one thing is certain:
The woman is absolutely stunning.
Hear that, Heather? Love ya, but I've got to fight you on this one. Because, look:
Love Catherine Zeta-Jones, too, but if I ever had to choose, I'd have to give the smoldering, ultra-sexy trophy to this one.


At 11:21 PM, Blogger Charlotte said...

100% with you on that one. Usually I agree with everything the fuggers say, but claiming that Monica Bellucci is anything less than jaw-dropping, not only because of her beauty, but also in terms of her talent and intelligence, is just baffling. I can only assume the weirdness of the dress left their brains a little addled that day.

At 6:59 AM, Blogger Scarpediem said...

Yes, I didn't even mention that in addition to beautiful and talented, she's also very intelligent and very sensual, qualities beautiful people don't automatically possess. That Cassel (himself very sexy in a very French way) is a lucky, lucky guy! I wonder how their daughter will grow up to look....

At 11:27 AM, Anonymous Camille C said...

I've always thought she was beautiful. Her eyes are very exotic and her lips are great (I am jealous as I am obsessed with having fuller lips without Plastic Surgery). I thought she stole a bit of the film in the Matrix (pt 2). She's just so French. If anyone saw her on the street they would wonder where she was from, you know. She's stunning.

At 11:21 PM, Blogger Henri-V said...

There is no contest between CZJ and MB; Monica takes the cake. I've only seen her in a few roles, but those performances have stuck with me. Her face reminds me a bit of Isabelle Adjani's (long time admirer).

In agreement about Cassel, too!

At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monica all the way. CZJ is gorgeous too, but Monica has a magic about her. . .

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